An open letter to the beer of Scotland,

I was very excited to drink you. Somewhere along the way I had built up the idea in my mind that beer in Scotland would be like the beer in Belgium: cold, bubbly, many many choices and hip glasses to drink the beer out of.

When I ordered my first Scottish beer (Carlsberg, perhaps?) my heart split in two. Slowly. What was this warm, smooth sap that was flowing down my palette? Was this beer or warm water? This certainly was not BIER and not even high life.

I don’t mean to generalize, beer of Scotland, because maybe it is just the beer in Edinburgh that is boring, warm and tasteless. Perhaps the beer in other parts of Scotland is COLD, REFRESHING, HINTS OF DIFFERENT FLAVORS AND UNDERTONES of whatever it is made of. I hope I am wrong.

I have to admit, that if I had drank you, beer of Scotland, before the BIER in Gent, Bruges or even Amsterdam, I may not have been so snotty about it. Maybe the bar was just set too high, and maybe that is not fair.

The one question in my mind that still remains is, why warm? Why not cold? Why do I have to be forced to order a SAN MIGUEL (from Mexico? Spain? Portugal? Who knows!) in order to have a beer that satisfies and does not turn my stomach? I was forced to compromise my values around drinking local beer, wherever I am. No to Carlsberg (brewed in Edinburgh) and yes to San Miguel, brewed who knows where.

As we head toward the Isle of Skye, beer of Scotland, I am going to give you one more chance. I am crossing my fingers that there are some choices other than Strongbow (a cider! The cider was warm too!), Carlsberg, Carlsberg export (supposedly “stronger”), Guiness or Guiness EXTRA COLD??!!! There is no such thing as extra cold in you.

I am not bitter, but I wish you were.
Cheers,
Pam